A Teacher’s Day In The Life (21): I Have a Problem

I realized at the beginning of this month that I may have a problem.  It’s typical for me to get stuck in a spending rut, especially after the holidays when I’ve been spending more than normal.  I get caught up in the checking for sales and grabbing the good deals and forget that I don’t actually need anything and that I don’t have to buy into all the marketing.  Oh, the e-mails from Gap!  They get me every time.

Now that it’s January, I need to re-train myself to stay away from Zulily and Amazon.  I need to send the e-mails from Gap and Jo-Ann’s to spam.  I need to take whatever steps necessary so that I’m not tempted to spend money on stuff we don’t really need.

The problem is two-fold: there are many things right now that I feel compelled to “fix”, and I tend to be an emotional spender.

In my mind, I have plenty of reasons I can use to convince myself to spend money.  We’re having a baby, so I need to buy all the things.  Lily needs clothes and toys.  I feel cooped up.  I’ll have baby weight to lose soon, so I’m going to get workout gear and a membership to Daily Burn.  There are so many things out there that would make my life easier right now!  Buy them all!


It’s a little ridiculous.


I’ve always been this way.  Typically, I buy books to learn about whatever I need to fix in my life.  Or clothes.  Or office supplies.  Those are my go-tos in moments like these where I feel stressed or unsettled or stuck.  Having a house and kids, though, adds so many more categories to the mix.  It’s trouble, I’m telling you.



Usually, I can talk myself off the ledge.  Or read my devotional or do some yoga or something.  The past few weeks, however, I’ve been going rogue a bit.  Online shopping and hormones are not my friends.  I had my “whoa, I should really stop this and pay attention to what I’m doing” moment when I placed an order on Zulily for literally no reason other than I was upset with my husband.  I clicked “order” and immediately thought, “That was stupid.  We don’t need any of that.”  And I can’t return it.  Awesome.

I also made a pretty big error in judgment in December due to my desire to fix.  I’ve been feeling a bit stuck.  It’s winter, so we’re inside a lot.  Plus, I’m very pregnant and can’t get around that easily.  I also want to find a way to contribute to our income.  So, I signed up for one of those work-from-home-promoting-and-selling-health-products companies.  This woman pitched it to me in exactly the right way, saying exactly the right things.  I did minimal research on the company and then ordered the starter kit.  Ugh.  Big mistake.

David did some digging a few days later.  We found out that I was totally lied to and would have to spend more money than I would earn.  I am now in the process of trying to get a refund, which I will have to find the energy to fight for, I’m sure.

I have a spending problem.  The first step is admitting it, right?  Now that I’ve realized what I’m doing, it’s time to reign it in and face the consequences.  That will look like a lot of apologies to David and unsubscribing from e-mail lists.